10 Ways to Use Your Limited Edition, Way Awesome Old New Orleans Rum Bar Towel.
(If you're one of the lucky first 100 to register for the Crawl at Molly's)
1. Tomorrow when you're sweating out your Old New Orleans Rum at the gym, you're gonna need a towel to dab at your forehead, neck and other sweaty places. We'll be there for you. *Hashers, this is great for you for that reason alone.
2. For those impromptu skinny-dipping sessions (especially in this loopy weather). We don't advise this after the crawl and please keep to your own pools and bathtubs.
3. Jazz Fest and Mardi Gras are coming up and you’re going to need your Old New Orleans Rum Bar Towel for a good many reasons, some possibly having to do with Porta-potty doors and wet grass. I’m just sayin’, we’ll come through in the clutch.
4. We would never suggest bringing Old New Orleans Rum in your vehicle, but an Old New Orleans Rum Bar Towel is a must when it comes to your car. Whether it’s changing the oil or filling up your tires with air, that grease begs to be rubbed off your fingers with one of our immaculately white yet incredibly awesome Old New Orleans Rum tagged Bar Towels.
5. Second Lines are a local spontaneous act of Follow The Leader. Be that Leader. Break out your “just-so-happened-to-be-on-hand” Old New Orleans Rum Bar Towel and lead away!
6. Use your Old New Orleans Rum Bar Towel to patch up that ole' hot air balloon you've been meaning to fly around the world in again after that last failed attempt that dropped you floating the Nile, where you found out the true meaning of a nasty mosquito.
7. I understand some of you will be men receiving these terry cloth works of art. Show the women in your life how cultured you truly are by framing your Old New Orleans Rum Bar Towel thing of beauty. Maybe give it to her for Valentines Day and remind her that you used it to clean up her not so attractive throw up the night you met.
8. College students, Old New Orleans Rum is looking out for your best interest (if you’re 21 years of age or older, of course). Let’s face it…everyone’s getting sick of wiping their hands off on their clothes after leaving your bathroom. Voila! A handcrafted Old New Orleans Rum Bar Towel that doubles as a hand towel! You’ll be the talk of the University with these puppies. Screw the bathroom scented candles.
9. What would Saints & Hornet games be without a rally towel? Bring your Old New Orleans Rum Bar Towel to cheer on the other celebrities of the Crescent City. Don’t let that pricey beer you bought in the Dome get warm! Use your Old New Orleans Rum Towel as a makeshift Coozie. McGuiver would be proud!
10. And, most obviously, clean your bar with it! If you don't have one, get one, stock it with Old New Orleans Rum, and then wipe it down with your coveted Limited Edition, “can’t-get-anywhere-else” Old New Orleans Rum Bar Towel.
If you have any awesome or witty uses for your Old New Orleans Rum Bar Towel, send them to firstname.lastname@example.org and we’ll post them with your name!